so daren went solo for his fyp leaving kenny alone to solo so was it my fault.. i dunnoe but i really didnt involved inside their team problem so i 3rd party? . ok i know i cant hide it forever they actually know my grandma passaway i dunnoe how but they just know so i admited. i know others who are concern want to know so i will just write it all here ok..
i cant settle my mind down peacefully i really tried my best.. maybe i didnt really have time for my stead tat time but losing my grandma was already a great blow and facing my projects i really almost breakdown tat time and then another hit she break with me after few weeks i know this will happen... september 12 my grandma passed away tat week. 84. she was good to me when i was a kid. It's like a nightmare i cannot wake up from.too sudden, no one knew. how i wish she were still alive, how i wish i could have had a better relationship with her and go visit her more often, how i wish i had told her that i love her.. but i didnt. and now, there's nothing left for me to do but regret. At a time like this, i have to give all i got to holding my family together. i try to avoid people tat period of time and i thought i would have more peace maybe i was wrong. we break like almost 2months i just cant denied i love her i miss her alot and realize even more how important she was to me, i cant force myself to hate her even she doesnt love me anymore i try to convience myself i can. i know it was my fault, im just lying myself i really love her but asking her again will it be like very kam lan. i dunnoe i really hope .... but she changed...

sorry everyone i let everyone worried for me =(